The Morgue Reviews #7
Written By: Adrian V.

Well, things are getting a little grim on the Morgue frontier, and faster than I’d anticipated.

Let’s face it, we all knew that the N64 was on it’s way out, but I was sort of hoping the games would last at least a few months after the Gamecube release. I had planned to fill the intervening time between the death of N64 retail and birth of Gamecube discounts with used games and Gameboy Color/Advance pieces.

Well those days are nearly upon us, and the Gamecube launch still hasn’t occurred (at the time of this writing). However, I refuse to go gently into that putrid, overpriced night. I will still search for games on the cheap, ladies and gentlemen, I’ll just have to expand my quest to include website stores. So don’t be afraid if you see links in the Morgue, it’s really for the best.

So what’s cheap this week?

Well, I have only three new games on the radar. And one of them is a wrestling game. A genre I so detest, that I’ve started to make up new words to describe my revulsion.

Rotchuble- (ra-choo-bel) adj. 1. a feeling of general nausea induced only by the viewing of Professional Wrestling. 2. so terribly painful to experience it can only be compared to a 24-hour Wrestling marathon ‘What a rotchuble experience to see your girlfriend making out with your sister...at your wedding.’

So here they are:

You can tell, just from a glance at this list, that the pickings are slim indeed this week. I can say that Gex 3 is slightly better than Gex 64, but I doubt many of you were unfortunate enough to pick that one up either. In general, this bad boy should be avoided, if for no other reason than that they used a Baywatch Babe tie-in (Which one? Who cares?) liberally to drag in the few hormone-addled stragglers unable to read the reviews in magazines, and so relied on the pictures to make decisions.

Hercules is in much the same boat. Not a bad game, per se, but certainly outshone by many other titles that are only $10 more (and therefore out of Morgue range). Don’t get me wrong, Hercules has his place in this world...somewhere. I just don’t think it’s on your gaming shelf. The license could be overlooked if it weren’t for the lackluster camera and repetitive levels. As it is, if you can find it for under $15, it might be worth the buy, but don’t kill yourself in the search.

And finally, we have WCW Mayhem. *cough*

Well, I haven’t played it, I’ll be honest. I have though, been told by two friends who are absolute wrestling freaks that this is probably the best WCW game on the N64. This means very little to me, since the best bowl of cat puke is still a bowl of cat puke, but you can decide for yourself.

All three of the games were prices at $19.99 at Software Etc. Though Electronics Boutique has Hercules for $14.99 on their website.

So what about a real review? I mean, that is why you come here, isn’t it? To see a complete review of at least one game, right? Well, if that’s the case, you’re obviously new to the Morgue.

Stop by next time and I’ll have not one, but two reviews for your perusal. And hopefully a few more titles that are on the cheap.

Posted: 12-10-01